All Dogs Sniff Butts: Debunking the Myth of the Designer Pooch

       My dog Pavo weighs 8 lbs and could probably be carried in a handbag, if I were the sort of person who carried a handbag.  Though I bought him from the humane society, he is what would be decidedly called a designer dog. He is a chi weenie, a genetically altered creature bred, for God knows what reason, to combine the traits of a Chihuahua and a Dachshund.
He is the sort of dog who turns heads at the park and regularly elicits squeals from little girls who exclaim “Oh he’s so cute.” Though he would fit in a handbag and could wear a hand knit sweater, my guess is that he would jump out of the hand bag and chew the sweater yarn until he threw it up.
He is from the part of the dog world that conjures images of gourmet dog food eaten in crystal dishes at the dining room table. Yet, if I let him, my dog would spend the entire day obsessively licking the place where his testicles used to be.
Yesterday I caught my fancy, designer dog eating the remnants of my wife’s lunch from the garbage can. Last week he attempted to eat his own vomit and he enjoys nothing more than a good pissing contest with his best friend, a pit bull 10 times his size. Poor Pavo always loses.
When he meets another dog in the park he barks and then sniffs butts. When given a chance he will happily chase the neighbors cat. He is 8lbs, but 8lbs of pure, unadulterated dog.
Growing up we always had big dogs, breeds like German Shepherds or Black Labs.  I was hesitant to bring a fancy little dog into my home. I thought, what will the neighbors think? When I walk him, me 6’1, 225lbs, I worry about eliciting strange looks from people who might think to rob me because, surely a man with an 8lb dog couldn’t possibly defend himself. Then I look at Pavo. I see him beg for food at the table. I see him bravely chase the neighbor’s 16lb cat. I hear him bark with excitement when he sees a squirrel.
When I come home and he runs, tail wagging, to greet me, I forget for a moment that he is an 8lb designer dog. I forget the images of Paris Hilton strolling through the airport with her handbag accessory dog. I smile. My dog, all 8lbs, is always happy to see me. He is the most uncomplicated relationship I have in my life. On bad days he is my sanity. He is a dog. A creature who, regardless of his size, would be perfectly happy to spend all day rolling around in the mud and eating grass.

Life beyond the Lockout; Man up and support the WNBA

With the threat of lockout looming in both the NFL and NBA, it is no wonder that sports fans everywhere are considering prescriptions for Xanax. However, we needn’t look to medication to calm our building anxiety.  If you are like me, a professional sports fan who thinks baseball is boring and is not satisfied with collegiate offerings on ESPN 27, I have a solution for you.  It’s called the WNBA.

There is an unfortunate and all too common perception that the WNBA is boring, slow and lacking in highlights worthy of primetime coverage on Sports Center. I bought into that kind of talk for several years and recently discovered that I’ve been missing out.

While the WNBA may lack some of the showboating and Blake Griffinesque dunks over a brand new Kia, the game is comparable if not better in multiple ways.

The ladies of the WNBA are equally capable of draining eye dropping 3’s, setting screens and scraping the floor for a loose ball. Their passing game often surpasses even the most seasoned of the NBA’s floor generals and they do it all for far less money than even the lowest paid NBA player.

The current highest paid player in the WNBA is Lauren Jackson, 2 time league MVP for the Seattle Storm. The current highest paid player for the NBA is Kobe Bryant, whose team was swept in the 2^nd round of the playoffs. Kobe Bryant brings in an eye dropping $24,806,250.00, not including endorsements. Jackson brings home a modest $103,500, or roughly 1/24^th the salary of Bryant. To further put Bryant’s salary into perspective, his yearly salary is larger than the total GDP of a few small island nations.

While Jackson continues to drain baskets, set screens and wow the league’s dedicated fan base; Bryant and his fellow band of overpaid celebrities are threatening a potential lock out over stalled salary negotiations.

As a dedicated basketball fan I generally shy away from the temptation to call NBA players spoiled, overpaid cry babies. However at some point it is up to fans to come together and demand accountable from the leagues that we support with our money, time and energy. Perhaps with lockouts looming in the NFL and NBA, it is time to come together and say enough is enough.

Regardless of whether or not there is an NBA lockout, I will remain a rabid basketball fan. My love for the game is unsinkable. What is uncertain is how my loyalty to the professional branch of Men’s basketball may change. Either way, I remain comforted to know that there is a professional league out there whose players play with a passion and love for the game that is unquestionable. This league just happens to be the WNBA, a league composed of people who do not share my gender. I am fine with that difference and I hope that more men will discover that there is life out there beyond the lockout.