I used to live in Portland and when the topic of race would come up with one of Portland's many, many - very white people, I would often hear this lament in response to the glaring lack of diversity in their lives. "Well I wish I had black friends, but it's Portland so there aren't any black people here." My response was something like, well I also live in Portland and I have black friends, in fact there are close to 40,000 black people who live here, you telling me you couldn't find even one to be your friend?
"I didn't grow up around black people, I don't know how to talk to them." I heard so often. Yeah well I grew up thinking that Red Lobster was America's fanciest dining establishment and that rice pilaf was just rice with peas in it. We grow and we adapt boo.
I am long past my days when I would have said something like my Portland friends, like "I don't see color" or to answer as human when asked about my own ethnicity. I see color, and so do you. I don't see color is a weak defense given to protect the the virtue of white fragility. We all see color, it is natural to see color. There is nothing wrong with seeing color. In fact to deny someone's color is to deny a part of what makes them human and to deny the experiences they may have had because of their color.
Yes there is nothing wrong with seeing color, the wrong comes when we ascribe virtues to this color and when we denigrate this color. When we weaponize color, like that white lady who called the cops on a black man because he wanted her to leash her dog, I'll call her dog walking Donna. She saw color, and she knew she could weaponize it by leading with the phrase "Big Black Man." She probably said she doesn't see color either. I call bullshit. Or when people manipulate color, like saying "but some of my best friends are black." Or yeah well my black friend Mary said blah, blah, blah... Or switching to some 1972 Super Fly jive talk when encountering a black person who probably wasn't even alive in 1972.
There is, and I repeat louder for the folks in the back, nothing wrong with seeing a person's color. It is a descriptor when used as such, but my challenge is this. When you are commenting on someone's color, why are you saying it? Dog walking Donna in the park knew exactly why she was stating the man's color when she called the police. I reference what I call the story in my earlier posts, she knows the story well and she knew how to use it, she knew how to weaponize and manipulate color for her own purposes. She knew her own power in that situation, even though she also knew that she was the one who was actually breaking the rules.
I grew up poor and white. I've been called poor white trash, I can say poor white trash. If you've never been called poor white trash and didn't grow up poor and white you shouldn't say it, it's offensive. This kids, is a much less weighted illustration of the premise behind the oft asked Caucasian question, "Why can they say the N word and I can't?" Let me be clear, I HATE hearing the N word in any context, with or without the - ER at the end, but there are some debates that are only for family, and in this instance, though I might be cool enough to invite to the cookout, I will not ever be black enough to use the N word. It is not up to me to define the use of that word because it has never been weaponized against me.
I do occasionally use the term PWT or Po White Trash. I don't like it, but it has been weaponized against me so it is mine to claim iffin I want to. I live outside the PWT sphere for the most part. Education and some economic status have brought me in contact with more sophisticated Caucasoids who may not understand the simple pleasure of Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Sometimes I feel out of place with these folks too, they seem liberal and open sometimes, but so were barbecue Becky and dog walking Donna. One thing that I can say for PWT folks and redneck white people, which I shouldn't really say either, because it denotes certain rural roots, which I do not have, I am city white through and through. What I can say is this, we ain't no snitches. PWT ain't calling the police on nobody because shit, somebody in the house might have warrants.
I went through all that to say this. What we are really saying when we say "I don't see color" is "I can't handle my own feelings when someone talks about race." We've all been part of the story, we all know the story to some extent. Sure, I met some lovely people who were raised in rural Idaho and moved to Portland thinking it was Detroit. Maybe they weren't as exposed to the story. Yet kids, this life if for learning and we don't do that when we think we know everything. There have been many people who patiently absorbed my own ignorance in this electric thing call life. So with that said, here is some advice from Uncle J......
Do you see color, yes you do. You see color, and you should. The question, as I stated, and I don't like to repeat myself- so if I do- this shits important. Question yourself, challenge your assumptions, let every human being tell you their own story. See their color and see their humanity and know that it is all intrinsically linked.
So here is some more advice. Don't go around calling black men you don't know well brotha. Don't say "you go girl" or "talk to the hand" to a black woman- nobody's said that shit since 1993- stop it! No, you can't touch anyone's hair, if your so fascinated by hair texture, buy a damn wig and touch away. How do you talk to a black person, say hello and learn to listen. Finally, if you are at Red Lobster and they ask if you want another cheddar biscuit, say yes, that shits good.
Stay tuned for part 2 of the blog series I don't see color: A tale of Black Bob and White Bob.
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